So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
