bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
