She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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