He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
