i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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