i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
