I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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