Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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