in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
