you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
