if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Let's paint friendship bongs
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
