Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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