A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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