community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
