i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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