Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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