How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
