I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
