i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
