Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
