very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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