i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
