i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
