SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just want nice things and good sex
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
