I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
