Your mouth is God's brothel.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize