i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
