good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
