the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
