my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
