Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
