3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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