VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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