Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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