Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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