I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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