please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
