There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
