Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
