I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
