I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
