I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
