Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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