Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
