Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
