He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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