I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
