White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
