I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
