My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Farmville is her only friend.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
