How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
