Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
