why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
